Shara's Personal Log


My life just got a whole lot more complicated….

Personal log:

I don’t know where to start, so I am just going to ramble.  I may or may not be coherent.

I have been spending a lot of time with Jard (Count Dooku).  From the start, I felt quite close to him.  I couldn’t explain it, but I just felt like I knew him already.  When he held me, it felt so familiar.  So…right.

*quickly*  Not that Jard has ever made any advances towards me, of course.  He has been a perfect gentleman.  He has simply…held me close..on occasion…and….it felt quite….nice.

But then….he dropped a bombshell on me, and now I am so confused.

He said we knew each other years ago.  That I had been a slave.  That we were…lovers.  That…we had a child together.

He said he took the child right after it was born and gave it to another family to raise – and told me the child had died.  He did it for our safety; that if anyone had found out, I would have been killed, and probably the child would have been, too.

Then he erased my memories of everything – of him, of the child, of everything that had happened.

And the child…is Admiral Piett.

Jard’s story could be true.  The Orion Syndicate has trade routes everywhere – even to this galaxy – and I have time traveled before – technically I’m 249 years old – and there are other things, as well:

  1. I picked up Imperial Basic so quickly.  It was…almost like it was something I knew already but hadn’t spoken in a while.  If I had been here before, that would make sense.
  2. I know things about Jard that I shouldn’t – small things, like how to read his expressions, how to read his moods – that I shouldn’t know if I had just met him.
  3. I am not full-blooded Orion.  It’s possible for Piett not to display any outward signs of his Orion heritage.
  4. I keep getting…. flashbacks? Memories? of our times together.  Nothing much, and nothing….um…intimate, but just…bits and pieces of times we had shared.  From a long time ago.
  5. And I have…feeling for him that I can’t…put aside.  It’s crazy.  I want to have him close, hold him, and…more…but….I just met him.  It’s driving me insane.

And, of course, there’s Vao.  I haven’t seen him much lately – he’s been busy – but…I know that once he comes back, I’ll have quite a huge predicament on my hands.  I can’t spend time with Jard without Vao being upset – and vice-versa.  I haven’t even had time to talk to Vao about all of this.

I love Vao.  He has my heart.  I shouldn’t even be spending time with Jard, but…I can’t turn Jard away.  I have feelings for him, too.

*sighs*

Then there are the people  who insist that Jard is evil and has ulterior motives for telling me this, that he’s lying, that it’s not possible.

But they are wrong.  Why would Jard do such a thing?  Surely there are easier ways to win me over….

*sighs*

I will be conducting a DNA test soon, to determine if Jard is telling the truth.

Until then….I will simply….take it one day at a time.

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A guest on board!

Posted in IC Post by Lady Orion on March 9, 2010
Tags: , , , , ,

Personal Log:

I am so excited!  We have a guest on board!  His name is Count Dooku.  He told me to call him Jard.  *smiles*

I am not sure how long it is going to be staying, but I hope that he can stay for a while.  He’s really nice, and he kisses my hand a lot.  *giggles*  And he….calls me “pet.”  *blushes green*  I’m not really sure why, but….I like it when he calls me that.

I got him set up in his guest quarters last night.  I made sure that he was put in one of the nicest rooms, and then it was fully stocked with everything he might need – including a minibar that had all of the types of drinks that I noticed him ordering at the party.  I also made sure that there were few other types of alcohol I thought he might like.

Last night I had several people that were trying to get my attention, so Jard and I agreed that the best thing to do would be to let him get settled in his quarters for the night and that I would see him today for his tour.

I have to say that I’m looking forward to spending more time with him.  He is a very….intriguing man.

Whoops!  Got to go!  Duty calls!

~Shara, Chief Medic of the Orion Defiance

Back on board the ship

Posted in IC Post by Lady Orion on March 6, 2010
Tags: , ,

The surgery was a success.  I feel so much better.  No more pain!  H’Ress did a fantastic job!

Vao seems to be in control more.  His dark side seems to be in check; however, we’ve had a few disagreements about our…bond.  And about how much I talk to people about it.

When I was away from Vao, the addiction I have for his bite was almost too much for me.  I was not in control of myself.  I would have done ANYTHING for him to feed – even go up against H’Ress.   When Vao came to visit me, I challenged H’Ress more than once to allow him to feed and to use a treatment that she didn’t feel right authorizing just so Vao could feed from me sooner.

I spoke to H’Ress about finding something  – ANYTHING – that could help me could help me control this craving.  And she did.  She developed a formula that can help me control it.

I had her send a shipment of the formula to me, and I began using it.  My thinking was that if I keep it under control, I can allow Vao to feed when he needs to, but I won’t be so desperate for it.

The hypos are working, but Vao is upset with me – saying that meditation and relaxation should be enough, and that if I use the hypos to help me stay in control, I’m weak.

I don’t care.  The hypos help me be myself and they will keep me in control while I learn the mediation and relaxation techniques.

In happier news – we’ll be having a party on board tonight!  I’m so excited!

And H’Ress is making a pet for me!  I’m supposed to get him tonight!  *happy dance*  I’ll post pics and details once I get him.  I’m not too sure what to expect yet.

Gotta go and get ready for the party!  Bye!