Shara's Personal Log


My life just got a whole lot more complicated….

Personal log:

I don’t know where to start, so I am just going to ramble.  I may or may not be coherent.

I have been spending a lot of time with Jard (Count Dooku).  From the start, I felt quite close to him.  I couldn’t explain it, but I just felt like I knew him already.  When he held me, it felt so familiar.  So…right.

*quickly*  Not that Jard has ever made any advances towards me, of course.  He has been a perfect gentleman.  He has simply…held me close..on occasion…and….it felt quite….nice.

But then….he dropped a bombshell on me, and now I am so confused.

He said we knew each other years ago.  That I had been a slave.  That we were…lovers.  That…we had a child together.

He said he took the child right after it was born and gave it to another family to raise – and told me the child had died.  He did it for our safety; that if anyone had found out, I would have been killed, and probably the child would have been, too.

Then he erased my memories of everything – of him, of the child, of everything that had happened.

And the child…is Admiral Piett.

Jard’s story could be true.  The Orion Syndicate has trade routes everywhere – even to this galaxy – and I have time traveled before – technically I’m 249 years old – and there are other things, as well:

  1. I picked up Imperial Basic so quickly.  It was…almost like it was something I knew already but hadn’t spoken in a while.  If I had been here before, that would make sense.
  2. I know things about Jard that I shouldn’t – small things, like how to read his expressions, how to read his moods – that I shouldn’t know if I had just met him.
  3. I am not full-blooded Orion.  It’s possible for Piett not to display any outward signs of his Orion heritage.
  4. I keep getting…. flashbacks? Memories? of our times together.  Nothing much, and nothing….um…intimate, but just…bits and pieces of times we had shared.  From a long time ago.
  5. And I have…feeling for him that I can’t…put aside.  It’s crazy.  I want to have him close, hold him, and…more…but….I just met him.  It’s driving me insane.

And, of course, there’s Vao.  I haven’t seen him much lately – he’s been busy – but…I know that once he comes back, I’ll have quite a huge predicament on my hands.  I can’t spend time with Jard without Vao being upset – and vice-versa.  I haven’t even had time to talk to Vao about all of this.

I love Vao.  He has my heart.  I shouldn’t even be spending time with Jard, but…I can’t turn Jard away.  I have feelings for him, too.

*sighs*

Then there are the people  who insist that Jard is evil and has ulterior motives for telling me this, that he’s lying, that it’s not possible.

But they are wrong.  Why would Jard do such a thing?  Surely there are easier ways to win me over….

*sighs*

I will be conducting a DNA test soon, to determine if Jard is telling the truth.

Until then….I will simply….take it one day at a time.

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3 Responses to 'My life just got a whole lot more complicated….'

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  1. Memory wipes are never 100% successful. That’s a fact. I have some experience in the matter. I can expand further on that if you wish. Well..I’ve had to wipe memories before – twice, as a matter of fact – and those memories were restored later, when it was safe to do so.

    Sometimes, the subject has flashbacks. They could be just whispers of the past…feeling something is “right” or “wrong” when there seems to be no rational (or conscious) explanation.

    And sometimes..sometimes the subject has dreams – dreams he or she can’t make sense of, so the conscious mind discards those dreams as nothing/irrelevant. Perhaps you’ve been having dreams as well..but perhaps not.

    No matter how hard you try, you can never erase what the heart feels…and like it or not, you’re starting to remember. Your memories are starting to trigger.

    The question is: How are you going to process all of this new information?

    As always, I’ll be here if you need someone to talk to. Anytime.

  2. Lady Orion said,

    I’ve had flashbacks – bits and pieces – especially when I’m with Jard. Please dreams.

    And….I can’t deny my feelings for him. They are very strong.

    What this will mean for me and Vao? I can’t answer that right now.

    Thank you for being there if I need to talk.


    • As always, you’re welcome. Glad to help in any way I can.


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