Dash Solaran

I am noticing a pattern.

It seems that most of my updates are about people. Men in my life.

There are a few reasons for that. The first being that it’s not usually my job to keep track of missions. Unless they’re medical emergencies or something like that.

The second reason is one that saddens me.

So often I have people come into my life and then they disappear, or they die, or they simply become busy and move on. Sometimes they even die or disappear and then return somehow – only to disappear again, so I lose them twice.

I have not heard anything from Warlocke in two months. Not a comm, not a note, nothing.

Deliah has been visiting family. I hear from her on the comm sometimes, so at least I get to talk to her.

Boss has been busy with his new squad of Mandos. I did get to see him for a while two days ago, but he was leaving on a mission. I’m not sure when I’ll see him again.

I’ve met someone. His name is Dash Solaran. He’s a musician and a smuggler. *soft laugh* Quite a combination. *smiles* He is very special. I’m not even sure I can put my finger on why. Boss and Warlocke both love me. I know this. I love them, too.

But….. deep down…. I also know that I could never be the only one in their lives. Warlocke’s species does not believe in pair bonding. They believe in having a pride. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I always thought that kind of sounded even better than monogamy. And with Boss, I know that he is also with Deliah. I’ve never had a problem with that. I also know that if Boss found someone else that appealed to him, then he would be with that person. I’ve never asked for exclusivity, nor have I ever expected it from either of them.

But then….Dash came along….

He wants to be the only man in my life – the only one that I’m intimate with, I mean.

I’ve been faithful before. I was with Mirek. With MU Tom. With Ghez. With Vao. With Jard (Count Dooku).

I always felt that I could be exclusive with the right person. I had also made a commitment to Jared to be only with him…..

I have to keep asking myself – is it that I want to be poly-amorous, or that I simply just don’t want to be alone.

Even having four people that I am, technically, intimate with – Boss, Warlocke, Deliah, and H’Ress – I am still alone so much. I still find Enzi so I can sleep at night. When he’s not busy of course. I even stayed with Ian for a couple of nights when he was so upset. Nothing happens when I stay with Ian or Enzi, of course. They are simply someone to curl up with so I will be able to sleep.

Dash has asked that I be his girlfriend.

I said yes.

I’m not sure how I’m going to handle things when I am on a mission and Dash is not with me. Maybe I could find a pet…. or something. I would feel odd staying with Enzi or Ian at night so that I could sleep, knowing that Dash would probably not be comfortable with that.

I’ll need to talk to him and figure something out. I don’t want to mess this up.

Warlocke – Reunion

Warlocke is home. We are home.

So much has happened….

Nearly a year ago, Warlocke was given to me as a companion – a gift from H’Ress, because I hated to sleep alone/be alone. She took her own DNA, modified it to my requests, and created Warlocke to be with me since she was (at that time) spending a lot of time in the Mirror Universe and wasn’t around as much as she wanted to be.

In the beginning, Warlocke was a quadruped. I got him as a cub.

He was so cute!

But he wasn’t a pet. He was sentient. He was a companion. H’Ress had created two bonds with us: telepathic and genetic (although I didn’t fully understand about the second at first).

And he was wonderful. He stayed with me almost all the time. He was the best companion, because he knew my thoughts. He loved me, wanted me to be happy.

He grew quickly and was huge.

About 10 feet long/tall once he was grown, weighing 900+ pounds.

He was my companion

He lived with me and Jard (Count Dooku) on the ship, and then on Serenno.

And then….Jard went on a business trip….and never returned.

I took the loss hard. It was a very dark time for me. H’Ress even came to get me and bring me to NavKor/Tynnara because she was worried about me. Warlocke was worried, too.

Then Warlocke had a request of H’Ress. He wanted to become a biped. He felt that becoming a biped would help him to become a better companion.

The transformation was….remarkable.

He was still tall – 8′ 4″, which is a couple of inches taller than H’Ress.

Seeing him in his bipedal form for the first time….hearing him speak….his voice was deep, rich and warm….I can’t even put into words how it felt when he puts his arms around me….held me….

We stayed as we had been….friends, companions….nothing intimate. I was still so hesitant, even though he was willing to me my…mate. Very willing. I didn’t realize it, but H’Ress had “imprinted” my DNA on him. Basically….he views me as the ideal mate.

He went through his first rut while we were on a mission. And…one thing led to another…and… *blushes green* I became his mate.

It never occurred to us that we could actually conceive, but we could. And did. (Thanks, H’Ress for making sure we were genetically compatible for breeding! That was a hint of sarcasm, by the way.)

I became pregnant. It was a shock, but we were happy about it.

Then came the speeder accident. I was injured severely. I lost the cubs. Miscarried.

We both took it hard, but Warlocke seemed to take it especially hard. He worked more and more. Took long-term missions. Then….stopped checking in with me.

I thought he was angry with me, blamed me somehow for the loss of the cubs.

He was gone for months. I was heartbroken, but figured that I needed to move on somehow.

While he was gone, I was with Jared. Even married Jared. And then….became a widow the same day when he was killed.

And then….a week or so ago….I met Davidov.

Things moved quickly with Davidov. He and I became intimate. And he was my Master. In a voluntary sense. He asked and I accepted. I belonged to him. I gave myself willingly.

But then I found out that Warlocke was in trouble, and I realized that he hasn’t been in contact because he was in trouble. That maybe….he wasn’t angry with me. I hoped so, anyway.

I told Davidov that I had to help H’Ress find Warlocke. He volunteered to help, too, which was very sweet of him.

We found Warlocke, and although he was weak and injured, he was alive. We came back to the Orion Defiance, and are now back in Boss’ house.

I belonged to both Warlocke and Davidov – but in very different ways.

Davidov was my Master. It was voluntary. He asked and I said yes. Because of my background, the Master/slave relationship is a familiar one. A comforting one. But I knew he didn’t love me, nor I him. A fondness, yes, but not love.

With Warlocke….it was belonging in an entirely different sense. We are bonded, both with a telepathic and a genetic link. He loves me dearly, and I love him. He was created for me. He and H’Ress are my family, and they always have been. I belong to him in the sense that we love each other and are forever connected – even if not together in the same room at that moment.

While Warlocke would never insist on monogamy for me….there is no way I can belong to both men. Because of the nature of ownership with Davidov, there would have come a time when I would have to make some kind of choice between them.

In my mind, there was no hesitation: I chose Warlocke. I no longer belong to Davidov.

And so now….we are together again. With Boss. And H’Ress.

Once again….my family is complete.

Relationships and Love – Warlocke, Boss and Jake

I am an Orion.

I know that seems like a silly thing to say.  It’s obvious, right?  The green skin kind of gives it away.

But it’s more than just being green.  A lot more.

The Starfleet database describes Orion females as “animalistic in nature, known for their extreme carnal appetites and their innate skill of seduction.”

The database has some lies in there, but that part is true.  *sighs*  I am….that way.

I always fought it before.  Being around humans, I tried so hard to fight it and to conform to their ways.  I really did.  I was monogamous with anyone I dated.  I’m not saying I never thought about cheating, or that I didn’t steal a kiss or two, but I never slept with anyone else when I was dating someone.

*sighs*  But it was so hard.  I struggled with it so much.  Like H’Ress said:  This pair-bonding baffles me.

So then I met Warlocke. He is my mate.  I love him dearly.

He understands me and my nature.  Honestly, his nature is much the same.  They don’t really do pair bonding with his species.  They form prides.   It’s like extended family, and it could include multiple sexual relationships, too.   It’s not restrictive.

So that brings me to Boss. And Jake.

Boss – and his son, Kalei – are like family to me and Warlocke.  I love them both to pieces.  In fact, if anything happens to Boss, I’ll have custody of Kalei.

And until recently, that’s all Boss and I were – just…family.  Like…I don’t know.  Just family.  But a few days ago, we crossed the line.  Flirting, then touching, then a kiss.  *sighs*  That’s all it took for me.  The love turned into something more.  Stronger, deeper, romantic.  He felt the same way.

Warlocke didn’t mind if I was also with Boss, of course.  He had no objection to him.  So…when Boss came back from his mission, we stayed the night together.  Nothing happened that night – just a massage, some kissing and then falling asleep in each others’ arms – but this morning *blushes* we gave in to our passion.  It was….wonderful.  *shivers with delight just thinking about it*

*sighs*  So now that brings me to Jake.

Jake is a new hire.  Quite honestly, we pretty much just jumped each other and had wild sex out of pure lust.  Sweet Mother of Orion, it was great.  *giggles* He’s really nice, but I don’t know him that well.  *sighs*  Yeah, that sounds bad to humans, but…I’ve gotten to where I don’t care what others think.

Warlocke knows about Jake and Boss.  Boss and Jake know about Warlocke.  They are all okay with the situation.

And so am I.

Pregnant

I’m still….stunned.

I’m pregnant.

Warlocke is the father.

We found out yesterday.  I know I shouldn’t be so surprised, but…I didn’t think that our DNA would be compatible for….conception.

I’m in shock – we both were – but….this was unplanned,  not unwelcome. *smiles*  A child will be welcomed with open arms.

I need to meet with H’Ress and have a thorough exam to find out the due date and if it’s only one child or…more.

Plus…Warlocke wants us to form a pride.  *smiles*  The equivalent of marriage for his species.  I thought that was very sweet.  It’s a little different than marriage, but…kind of similar.

I guess…I’m settling down.

*smiles*  I like it.

Warlocke and Nak Shimor

The mission on Nak Shimor went smoothly.  Kalei did very well with assisting me, and Warlocke kept us safe.

I’ve been working on Boss to help with his injuries.  He was severely injured on the mission to Giju.

Warlocke and I are continuing to be close.  We are….mates.  Lifemates, I guess is the term.

The bond we share makes intimacy with him….incredible.  We can feel each other’s passion, as well as our own.  We know each other’s wants, needs and desires without having to speak them.  Plus the fact that I love him dearly…well…that makes it even more special.

Mission Update and Warlocke

The mission accomplished the objective – the trade agreement between B’Daal and NavKor 36 was signed – but there was an incident.  A rogue sniper tried to kill us.  He shot Phobetor – who was shielding Emerald with his body – and the projectile went through Phobetor and hit Em.

Had Phobetor not jumped in front of Emerald, it would have killed her instantly.

They are both recovering, and have even gone on another mission.

Now….for Warlocke.

Warlocke was created for me by H’Ress as my protector and companion.  I raised him from a cub.  He looked like this when I first got him:

Wasn’t he CUTE?!

He grew into a large warcat.  HUGE!

And then….he asked H’Ress for the ability to be able to shift between bipedal and a quadruped.

In his quadruped form:

And to give you and idea of his size:

In his bipedal form:

Another look:

And….he’s been staying in his biped form quite a bit.  He and I have been going on missions, and he’s working for NavKor 36 now.

He and I have grown….*blushes* very close on this last mission.

Warlocke

Wow.  O.O

H’Ress made some changes to Warlocke, and they are….incredible.

He can shift from biped to quadruped.  I have to admit that it’s a little unsettling to see him as a biped.  I don’t really know why.

But he’s still Warlocke, and I still adore him.  I guess I just never looked at him as….a guy before.  I know that sounds stupid, but….*sighs*  Before he was my pet.  Now, he’s….not.  He’s….like a guy version of H’Ress.

He’s 8′ 4″ tall (just a little taller than H’Ress is).  He’s….*blushes* very definitely male.  We still have our bond, so…I can sense his thoughts and he can sense mine.

It’ll just take time to get used to him in this form, is all.