Shara's Personal Log


Relationships and Love – Warlocke, Boss and Jake

I am an Orion.

I know that seems like a silly thing to say.  It’s obvious, right?  The green skin kind of gives it away.

But it’s more than just being green.  A lot more.

The Starfleet database describes Orion females as “animalistic in nature, known for their extreme carnal appetites and their innate skill of seduction.”

The database has some lies in there, but that part is true.  *sighs*  I am….that way.

I always fought it before.  Being around humans, I tried so hard to fight it and to conform to their ways.  I really did.  I was monogamous with anyone I dated.  I’m not saying I never thought about cheating, or that I didn’t steal a kiss or two, but I never slept with anyone else when I was dating someone.

*sighs*  But it was so hard.  I struggled with it so much.  Like H’Ress said:  This pair-bonding baffles me.

So then I met Warlocke. He is my mate.  I love him dearly.

He understands me and my nature.  Honestly, his nature is much the same.  They don’t really do pair bonding with his species.  They form prides.   It’s like extended family, and it could include multiple sexual relationships, too.   It’s not restrictive.

So that brings me to Boss. And Jake.

Boss – and his son, Kalei – are like family to me and Warlocke.  I love them both to pieces.  In fact, if anything happens to Boss, I’ll have custody of Kalei.

And until recently, that’s all Boss and I were – just…family.  Like…I don’t know.  Just family.  But a few days ago, we crossed the line.  Flirting, then touching, then a kiss.  *sighs*  That’s all it took for me.  The love turned into something more.  Stronger, deeper, romantic.  He felt the same way.

Warlocke didn’t mind if I was also with Boss, of course.  He had no objection to him.  So…when Boss came back from his mission, we stayed the night together.  Nothing happened that night – just a massage, some kissing and then falling asleep in each others’ arms – but this morning *blushes* we gave in to our passion.  It was….wonderful.  *shivers with delight just thinking about it*

*sighs*  So now that brings me to Jake.

Jake is a new hire.  Quite honestly, we pretty much just jumped each other and had wild sex out of pure lust.  Sweet Mother of Orion, it was great.  *giggles* He’s really nice, but I don’t know him that well.  *sighs*  Yeah, that sounds bad to humans, but…I’ve gotten to where I don’t care what others think.

Warlocke knows about Jake and Boss.  Boss and Jake know about Warlocke.  They are all okay with the situation.

And so am I.

Gavyn Kerr and Jared Stone

Posted in attacked,Jared Stone by Lady Orion on May 21, 2010
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When I was on the Liberty, we had a mission on Altori that caused a bounty to be placed on our heads.

Somehow Gavyn Kerr found me and intended to collect on that bounty.

He tried for me several times, but Sarge and Aulac – with the help of Ben and Wedge – held him off.  Until the third try, that is.

Kerr transported in, held a phaser to my head so that Sarge wouldn’t attack him, and then transported me back to his ship.

The night that I spent on Kerr’s ship was…..brutal, horrible.  Something I’d love to forget.

I was rescued by Sarge, Aulac, Ben, Wedge, H’Ress and the Deadpools – and Kerr was killed.

But Kerr gave me some disturbing news while I was with him.

He said that Jared had been captured by him and sold as a slave – and that he is on Altori.

I can’t just leave him there.  I have to help him.

Ben, Sarge, Wedge, Aulac and Vao have all said they’ll help me find Jared and rescue him.

I hope we won’t be too late.

Life-changing decision

Posted in IC Post by Lady Orion on April 23, 2010
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After being on Serenno with Jard for a few days, I realized that I did not want to go back to the Defiance.

I wanted to stay with Jard on Serenno and finish up my training. I love being on Serenno with fresh air, real sunshine and plenty of room for Warlocke to roam.

I resigned as the Chief Medical Officer of the Defiance.  Navaar wasn’t too pleased, but she’ll get over it.

I have been studying with Dr. Akanseh, and he is quite fascinated with the technology I use. He has never seen a tricorder before, nor has he seen a dermal regenerator, hypospray and much of my other equipment.

He has asked that I conduct a workshop demonstrating the tech from my ‘verse.  I think he’s kind of impressed with it. *giggles*

I am really nervous about this upcoming workshop, but I think if I do well, then I might be eligible for an accelerated doctorate.  Dr. Akanseh mentioned I might be able to complete an apprenticeship and complete my doctorate that way.  I am so excited!

The best part about it is how proud Jard is of me.   He was practically beaming with pride when I told him about it last night.  *blushes green, smiles*

I’m going to do everything I can to make sure he keeps being proud of me.

Vacation!

Posted in IC Post by Lady Orion on April 14, 2010
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Jard is finally back!

And he had a surprise for me and for Piett and Qwi!

Jard had the estate where we lived on Serenno so many years ago restored to how it was then.  Had everything put in place.  Had….me put on the deed as co-owner.  I’ve never owned a home before.  I am….still in shock.

And he also gave Piett and Qwi a wedding gift:  a home/estate of their own, on Serenno.

We arrived on Serenno last night.  I nearly cried when I saw his….I mean, our home.  The memories, the emotions…

I wish I had more than just a few days’ leave.  It is beautiful here…..

A Fresh Start

Posted in IC Post by Lady Orion on April 4, 2010
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Personal Log:

So many things have happened….

The DNA test showed that Piett is, indeed, my son.  It also showed that Count Dooku – Jard – is his father.

It was a shock at first, but then….it felt so nice to know that…..I had a family.  Piett is a sweet man, and he has a lovely wife, Qwi.  I wanted to take time to get to know Piett, Qwi….and Jard.

Then Vao came back.  He was here on the ship the whole time, of course, but he had sealed himself in his coffin so that he could try to gain control of his darker (vampiric) side.

As soon as he fed, he….proposed.  I was shocked.

I turned him down.  What else could I do?  So much had happened that to agree to marry him under those circumstances would have been a complete disaster.  I was beginning to remember bits and pieces of what had happened with Jard so long ago.  I wanted to spend time with Piett and Qwi.  I knew I could never do that if I were married to Vao.  It wouldn’t have been fair to him or to me.  Or to anyone, actually.

Vao was angry, and understandably so.  He says that I betrayed him, but I didn’t.  I had no way of knowing about Jard.  I didn’t remember!  But once I learned about everything, I couldn’t marry Vao.  I just couldn’t.  I didn’t mean to hurt Vao.  I simply knew that to marry him under those circumstances would be wrong.

Vao left the ship.  I have no idea where he is now.

The bond with Vao was broken – after a long process.  I’m…..so glad that’s over.  It was difficult.

Since the bond was broken, I can remember so much more of what happened between Jard and myself.  I remember more each day.  There are a few gaps, but not very many.  I can remember the times we spent together, the promises we made, the talks we had.  The….the life we talked about building together.

I know that Jard is a Sith.  He’s no Boy Scout; but I trust him.  He would never hurt me.  He’s an honorable man.  I know this much about him.

He has searched for me for so long – so many years – he is so happy to have found me and Piett.  He’s trying so hard to make up for lost time.

And….I have to admit that I’ve been searching for Jard for a long time, as well.  Not as long as he has (because of the time travel), but for years.  Looking for him – even though I didn’t consciously remember him, my heart never forgot Jard and the feelings I had for him.

Now we have the chance to have a life together…..a life that was interrupted so many years ago.

A fresh start.

My life just got a whole lot more complicated….

Personal log:

I don’t know where to start, so I am just going to ramble.  I may or may not be coherent.

I have been spending a lot of time with Jard (Count Dooku).  From the start, I felt quite close to him.  I couldn’t explain it, but I just felt like I knew him already.  When he held me, it felt so familiar.  So…right.

*quickly*  Not that Jard has ever made any advances towards me, of course.  He has been a perfect gentleman.  He has simply…held me close..on occasion…and….it felt quite….nice.

But then….he dropped a bombshell on me, and now I am so confused.

He said we knew each other years ago.  That I had been a slave.  That we were…lovers.  That…we had a child together.

He said he took the child right after it was born and gave it to another family to raise – and told me the child had died.  He did it for our safety; that if anyone had found out, I would have been killed, and probably the child would have been, too.

Then he erased my memories of everything – of him, of the child, of everything that had happened.

And the child…is Admiral Piett.

Jard’s story could be true.  The Orion Syndicate has trade routes everywhere – even to this galaxy – and I have time traveled before – technically I’m 249 years old – and there are other things, as well:

  1. I picked up Imperial Basic so quickly.  It was…almost like it was something I knew already but hadn’t spoken in a while.  If I had been here before, that would make sense.
  2. I know things about Jard that I shouldn’t – small things, like how to read his expressions, how to read his moods – that I shouldn’t know if I had just met him.
  3. I am not full-blooded Orion.  It’s possible for Piett not to display any outward signs of his Orion heritage.
  4. I keep getting…. flashbacks? Memories? of our times together.  Nothing much, and nothing….um…intimate, but just…bits and pieces of times we had shared.  From a long time ago.
  5. And I have…feeling for him that I can’t…put aside.  It’s crazy.  I want to have him close, hold him, and…more…but….I just met him.  It’s driving me insane.

And, of course, there’s Vao.  I haven’t seen him much lately – he’s been busy – but…I know that once he comes back, I’ll have quite a huge predicament on my hands.  I can’t spend time with Jard without Vao being upset – and vice-versa.  I haven’t even had time to talk to Vao about all of this.

I love Vao.  He has my heart.  I shouldn’t even be spending time with Jard, but…I can’t turn Jard away.  I have feelings for him, too.

*sighs*

Then there are the people  who insist that Jard is evil and has ulterior motives for telling me this, that he’s lying, that it’s not possible.

But they are wrong.  Why would Jard do such a thing?  Surely there are easier ways to win me over….

*sighs*

I will be conducting a DNA test soon, to determine if Jard is telling the truth.

Until then….I will simply….take it one day at a time.